Christmas

I saw a commercial today for the "Pandora Bracelet", which is basically a stainless steel band with a bunch of Lucky Charms tied around it. Priced from $19.99 to $399.99. Drop it in milk and get a magical surprise! First of all, gay. Second, if I went through childbirth, I'd want something more from my husband than a pink plastic booty attached to a few clovers and blue moons.

On the topic of Blue Moons, it would be much more interesting if there was an Old Chicago Style World Beer Tour Charm bracelet. Maybe a bloody Redcoat or a musket for Sam Adams, a Hockey stick for Labatt Blue, or a bunch of diarrhea in a glass for Guinness. Fuck Guinness, what awful beer. I really hate dudes that want to sound sophisticated by saying things like "it really tastes better in Ireland". Maybe Guinness is what they did with all of the rotten potatoes that sent them to America in the first place (HISTORY NOTE!! Relevant topic: Potato Famine) I strive to be educational as well as being a guy with few other outlets to bitch about things that are lame.

Also, I asked the guy at the liquor store last week if they had those Miller Lite home draft things. He looked at me like I was retarded and said they were just commercials. Yeah, I realize that the case with the speakers attached might not be real (I thought it was at first, I admit it) but a home keg certainly seems to be a possibility. I found out later that they were, in fact, real. I'm never going back to MGM. Also, F Miller Lite. Vortex bottles are a scammy way to get me to buy an otherwise lousy beer. The only beverage innovation i wish would come back is clear Pepsi. I loved that stuff!